Canadian Buys Slab Of Cheese To Avoid Getting Killed By Texas Lynch Mob

Jacob Marziarzarzarzarz, a Canadian man was in Dallas, Texas this week. Needing to find a way to not get lynched by immigrant hating racists fit in, Jacob headed for the nearest supermarket in order to buy the largest slab of cheese he could find in order to fit in.

Jacob's large slab of cheese

"I felt protected by this slab of cheese. Once I bought it, it was like the maple leaf T-shirt I was wearing was gone, and I stopped saying Eh? after everything," notes Jacob. Unfortunately, Jacob was shot and killed by rednecks after they spotted that his Toyota Corolla was actually just a moose with Toyota badges and cupholders.