Shitposting Group Gets Zucc'd Thanks To A Piece Of Wood

WeedSport, NY At Just past 8:30 PDT, NSA agent Hugh Jaynus left his desk to go get a cup of coffee. When he returned, he found that his mission- to track down a group of autistic 20 to 30-something year olds (and one very angry 40 year old) had been compromised, all thanks to a piece of wood.

"I just left to go get a cup of coffee, take a fat shit and maybe have a wank, I get back to my desk and I find this shit. I've dedicated years of my life to the counter cyber-autism squad, and now i've been stopped dead in my tracks, all thanks to the group getting Zucc'd" -Hugh Jaynus


One of the suspects

"Normally, this specific shitposting group has been very consistent- they'll go ahead and create a group - the autism is there, but not dormant. Then some shit arises, all hell breaks loose, members leave the group, then form another group- it's basically like a flood carrier form," Hugh stated. "This group has been around since 2014 or so, but for it to be taken out via Zucc- some of my co-workers said this would be end of cyberautism. But they're dead wrong."

Hugh explained in great detail, that Autism cannot be contained or destroyed through normal means. "I appreciate the effort, but unfortunately you cannot kill autism- physical or cyber without killing all other life. In other words- the forerunners were right; you must kill all life by activating the Halo rings to stop the flood. I appreciate the piece of Balsa wood's effort, but it was not enough. I'm sure that a new group will be created in a few hours, and the shitposting will continue as usual."

There's Another /ct/ Because Fuck You

Since its inception, /ct/ has served as a sanctuary for young adults with ass burgers to discuss technology, from the latest graphics cards to the roboSUCC 5000 sexbot. Eventually, topics strayed from computers and technology to off-topic ramblings, and thus a splinter group called "/ct/off_the-Record" was created.

See, the problem with young adults with assburgers (98% of the population of /ct/) is that their lack of social skills is compensated for with their ability to shitpost. At first, all sorts of agencies, from Autism speaks to the NSA began to make alt accounts to lurk inside Off_The_Record, extracting precious data from the group. However, a spike in shitposting proved disastrous, resulting in the inherent deaths or mental collapse of six NSA members, 22 Autism speaks researchers, two professors from Baylor University, seven research students in the PhD program at the University of Oklahoma and 76 Indian "hackers". Eventually, many members who were on the higher end of functionality on the Autism spectrum splintered off after the shitposting coming from the rectum of Off_The_Record became far too great, in an effort to preserve their sanity.

This vicious cycle of new /ct/ groups continued, resulting in /ct/'s combined shitposting power taking up 0.0001% of total space on Facebook's global servers. Now, there's been a new /ct/ group spawned, because fuck you. The quote "history repeats itself" is the forever motto of the group, and nothing will change that.

Group Members Fondly Look Back On Dead Guy Sebastian Meme

"I remember when Angus spawned the meme. Nobody knew why, but it suddenly happened, and we were all just like, OK" -Hicky Russey


Ahairi Vahchina, an self-proclaimed meme expert and shitpost analyst praised Angus Appleton's meme efforts, calling it "innovative" and "shitposting from a new angle; the Steve Jobs of shitposting" Others called it a forced meme, similar to "school weenus inspection day," and event only two members of the group claim to have partaken in.

Nonethless, the group has long forgotten about this meme until this article was unfortunately found in the author's drafts from 14 months ago.

Who Reported Me

                                        "dindu nuffin" -Angus Beefpatty PearKilogram
The resident Kiwi Angus Beefpatty PearKilogram, a Pirelli-star holding chef and gun enthusiast held a witch hunt to find out who reported him, to zero success. As shitposting trends in the shitposting group known as /ct/Off_The_Record /ct/Whatever_Lewd_Peter_Names_It_This_Week are basically a giant circle, once the meme started, the copypastas began.

                                                   Grade A beef Handmade Copypasta
"You know, this group is basically like a hobo's shopping cart. They do a lot with basically nothing. It's like a dog chasing its tail for hours on end" chuckled CIA agent Zrian Buckerman.

What The Fuck Is Going On With The Group

A new level of shitposting encased the eleventh twenty sixth revision of /ct/Off_The_Record as group members decided to randomly change the group name to ones containing copious amounts of lewd. "Yeah....I got nothing" said FBI investigator shitposter Dorian Rossi. "Y'know, I just joined the group for shits in giggles, originally triggerposting Ricky Hussey by posting shit about apple seemingly unironically, but this group has gone beyond that."

NSA member Buht Chiiks predicts that the namechanging shitposting will continue for about 2 more weeks before someone steps in and changes the name back to what it was, and shitposting will go back to its originally scheduled programming.

Shitposting Group's Members Voluntarily Attempt A Shitstorm

The NSA and head members of Autism Speaks gathered around NSA agent, Nota Kop's computer screen as they eagerly waited for what was said to be a voluntary shitstorm inside the 17th iteration of the shitposting group, /CT/Off_The_Record. Nota Kop, who managed to infiltrate the group months ago under the aliases Dorian Rossi and Hakeem Yurmom was no stranger to the group's shitstorms. "I remember a while back, this one person who claimed to be a female and said she was a lawyer was an admin for the group a while back. Then it was revealed that she didn't even get her JD, and that it was to be completed at University of Phoenix through online classes, and the whole group called her out, then imploded"

Autism Speaks were certain that the research that they had done on assburgers syndrome had been completed months ago after the last migration. "We were ready to conclude our research, that Assburgers seeks peace, bottles up the autism and explodes eventually, thus creating the shitstorm," said Hyuuj Vah-Chyna, a top level Autism researcher. After witnessing Autism that had evolved to the Nth degree and seeing a pattern, the team was ready to call it quits, however Hyuuj wasn't ready to stop just yet. She examined the group further, and discovered that the group had gone through a strange level of calamity within the group. "Sure, there were a few candle memes here and there, but it was astonishing. However, some members weren't happy with the new leadership, as usual," noted Vah-Chyna.

Ala howuak-barr, a senior analyst at the NSA was ready to take a vacation to the North of France for a visit to his relatives sightseeing, however the new activity has him worried that everything may be jeopardized.

NSA Operations Grind To A Halt To Determine If Shitposting Admin Is Butthurt

SHITPOST LAND, DUMBFUCKISTAN- 1:17 PM- The NSA's 1337 H4X0R operations came to a grinding halt today as the lead admin of /ct/Off_The_Record revision # 432,850,650,392 decided to ban Brax, a 40 something year old who spent his spare time arguing with 20-somethings.

"Shit, if I knew that their next shitstorm was going to be today, I would have packed a second lunch for myself" stated NSA employee Dorian Rossi. "Nobody here is sure how such drama can erupt from a shitposting group, but okay" agreed another employee. "If this shitposting group was a TV show, TMV would be all over it- there's so much drama over stupid shit it kind of reminds me of Keeping up with the Cuckdashians"

Shortly after Brax was banned, a tiny shitstorm erupted (which, as always snowballs into a massive shitstorm, and creation of a new group as nobody ever learns from their mistakes here) after Messy Schrider left the group, going off into Benjamin "bought a Buick for 2K" Ristow's group. A large debate then occurred in the comments as people (and members of the NSA) wondered if William was actually butthurt.

"Is William the guy who owns a pug or is that somebody else" -NSA employee who has been living under a rock

The NSA'e verdict is unclear, as they predict the shitstorm will only get bigger over time.